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Toad Medicine (the unlikely healer)


You can breath in space, that was what i saw when i first recieved
Bufo alvarius toad venom was found to contain 5-MeO-DMT. There are over 285 types of Bufo toad world-wide, but only one – the Bufo alvarius or Sonoran Desert Toad – is known to have 5-MeO-DMT (up to 15% by volume) in its venom. Toad venom smokers ‘milk’ live Bufo alvarius toads of their venom by stroking the areas around their paratoid glands which causes the toad to excrete its venom. This venom is caught on a piece of glass or mirror and left to dry into a crystal-type form which can be smoked.
This man came to me on my 35th birthday to this day i can’t remember his name, a little of what he looked like,
he knew my name, he knew it was birthday and he came over to the river where i was quietly sitting.
he was quick to say what he had and that it was gift from the south.
he pulled out a glass pipe and a small baggy full of snotty looking crystals, he told me that this was from the frogs of various places he had collect for over ten years.
he put a small portion and smoked it so i could see that it wasn’t negative.
a little nervous, and untrustworthy at that time in my life i had an anger streak a mile long.
The effect was radically obvious immediately, he told me to breath it in as long and deep as i possibly could, I was ok, clear minded as i held my breath and then i let go, “The entire universe imploded through my consciousness as i exhaled a evil growl came from within and out of me.”
That is as good a way of describing it as any. Everything happened simultaneously in a cosmic flash of pure insane insight. I went through the all the different levels settle into an anger that grabbed my new friend by the neck and i screamed a growl, “what the fuck did you do to me?”
i held his neck chocked it which i thought for eternity, his face turned blood red and then into a jaguar, in my my mind i thought, “what Im I doing to him.?”
i stopped he crawled away, i stood up looking for relief and sanctuary some place calling out to my loved ones, nobody was home.
suddenly in one motion everything became at peace, i walked moving through a timeless reality in a manner impossible to describe. I saw the teeming multitudes, it was like i could see the past the future and now all at the same time.
An amazing sense of peace came over me, i went back to the river bank and started chanting a chant i knew from society life, I expanded out beyond the stars on a double helix type ladder, up and over the sky, out of the atmosphere, out into darkness—all the while fearless and at peace, cocooned in a field of immeasurable love, you can breath in space.

I slowly came to i saw my body laying on the ground from above, then i heard the cackling of magpies, i could understand them, Pure love—there is no other way to describe it. It was the love that had been missing during most of my life very few experiences, can be replaced by that awesome power. Yet I knew the love and the power were the same. tangled up like my hair represented the creation principle of the universe and beyond, from the infinite emanation of forms, to the form-without-form that I can only call G/d. That mighty love drew me up and pulled me in, and took away all the anger i had held on to as a fatherless son, a lost quiet boy, Lost in that moment outside of time, I knew that Love was me, and everything about it was a plan from the heavens I had actually in that those short hours had changed my DNA sent from the unlikely healer.